


and it feels like losing

by neverlasting_legend (splitdevotion)



Series: the Echo Cave series [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Gen, POV Second Person, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-03
Updated: 2013-12-03
Packaged: 2018-01-03 08:38:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1068386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/splitdevotion/pseuds/neverlasting_legend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don’t leave Neverland, not really anyways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and it feels like losing

You don’t leave Neverland, not really anyways.

You may not be there physically but you aren’t here in Storybrooke either.  You exist in a sort of limbo between the two, between what had been your prison and what looks like will be your grave.

You don’t kid yourself. 

You aren’t cut out for this world – _your_ world any more than you were for Neverland but there’s a difference.  In Neverland, you had nothing but time but here, where time moves forward and you with it, there is no possibility of you sinking back into that skin that you thought to discard long ago.  ‘

Neverland had taken everything that you were and stretched it long and thin until you were nothing but a caricature of the girl you were at fourteen and once upon a time, you were glad for it.  That girl was of no use to you in the land where boys inhabited trees and the Pan reigned supreme so you became a bird – _Wendy-bird_.  A pretty little canary that could change its tune as quick as it raked talons across flesh. 

You were the imitation girl – sweet and fragile with a mouth full of poison.  You tied knots and handed out nooses in the form of favors and words – weaving each lie until even you believed it to be truth.

They were never supposed to win.

You suppose it was partially your fault or at the very least, the fault of the part of you that still held some resemblance to the darling girl you used to be.  You could never stop hoping in the brightest corners of your heart that someday, you would return home to your family.  That someday, someone would save you.

You nearly scoff thinking back on it.

It had been a long time since you had needed to be _saved_ from Neverland and even longer since you even had a home to return to.  You can’t even remember your mother’s face and if that doesn’t say anything about where you belong, you don’t know what else will.  Neverland holds your heart now and had you done what you should have when playing Pan’s game, you would be back there – _home_.

You didn’t though. 

You threw your lot in with Bae and the rest of that rag tag team looking for the Truest Believer.  You betrayed Pan and Neverland and worst yet, you _won_.  Your defection could be looked upon as a moment of girlish stupidity but _winning_ – winning was unforgivable. 

You reap what you sow and the spoils of your victory are nothing like what you truly want anymore.  


End file.
